Contrary to popular belief, self-love isn’t actually required in order to heal from trauma or live your best life. In fact, for those of us with childhood trauma, “self-love” can often feel downright impossible.

But there’s another way. Consider “self-neutrality” instead, and you’ll be surprised how liberating and empowering it can feel.

What is self-neutrality?

In essence, it’s the ability to see yourself objectively, with unemotional and nonjudgmental curiosity and observation.

It’s turning self-statements like “I’m such an idiot” into “I made a mistake, and I feel upset with myself right now.”

Through the lens of self-neutrality, “My body is gross” becomes “My body is an acceptable human body, just like every other human body.”

It’s about creating a space where we feel safe to explore the origins of our self-hatred and dismantle those beliefs slowly and tenderly through challenging but attainable goals.

While I wrote this book to be a guiding light for trauma survivors, it can also serve as a supplemental tool for therapists as they work with clients, in and between sessions.